Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. Last year, I didn’t know if I’d make it to my next birthday. At the end of March in 2023, my life changed forever.   I promise this isn’t a trauma dump! This is a gratitude expression. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer at that time last year. The day I got that phone call, reality had halted. I found myself facing my mortality. I had to think about a lot of things most 26 year olds shouldn’t have to worry about. I had to make a lot of hard, sudden and scary decisions.  But that day, I also chose to live. I finally took charge of my life, faced it all head on - and transformed it. I completely overhauled it. The person I was a year ago, is entirely different to who she is today. I worked day by day, night by night. Putting pieces of myself back together again, slowly. But surely. For the latter of a decade, I spent my life living as a shell of who I used to be for circumstances I can’t really talk about here. But I’ve been through a lot, and lost myself in the process.  Cancer was my wake up call. I’m grateful. I felt like I was given a second chance. It was a disguised opportunity, to abandon that path I was on, and start over again. I took it.  In six months, I beat it. I had a major surgery. I chose to be fearless, in the face of my fears. Even when I didn’t think I’d make it, I did. I found my willpower again, and the resilience I’d always had but lost touch with. Today, I’m still actively making the effort to necessary to nurture my body through diet, exercise, compassion and care. Your health is the most important thing in this lifetime. If you're reading this, always take care of yourself. But the reason I’m writing this, is because I  owe a lot of my thanks to #ATEEZ .  The obstacles I overcame had a helping hand, from them. They were beacons in this journey, for me. I knew of them a little before, but really leaned into them throughout it. For comfort, hope, and determination. Every single member reminded me of something inside of myself that I’d forgotten about. Things left behind in my teenage years. They reignited it again. I found my power again, and stepped into it.  I found my self worth and confidence. It was as if I climbed a mountain, and they were strength pulling me up and over the steepest slopes when I couldn’t find it myself. Their music fueled my fire; my fury - and still does to this day. It kept me motivated, even when I was scared. It helped me be brave in my adversity.  I had to exercise while being in and out of the hospital, and it kept me showing up even on my hard days. I persevered no matter what.  Their personal stories, how they worked for their success, their dances, how they pour into their work with everything they have - the diligence. Authenticity. Confidence. Everything moved me. It kept my mind and motion forward. Beneath all of the anxiety, was hope. I want to follow my passions like they do, unapologetically so.  They even helped me find enjoyment in a routine again, and taking care of myself again.  I’m an artist. I used to spend every waking moment of every day making art when I was young - in any way possible. Poetry, writing, fashion, projects. I want to be that way again, because of them. I want to try new things again.  I find myself wanting to embody the traits they all have. I’ve never really been the kind of person who’s looked up to anyone before - until I found them.  They’ve helped me shift a lot of my perspectives about so many different things. Challenges, especially. Realizing failure is not failure, only growth. The level of respect and appreciation I have cannot be described. I meet difficulty as an opportunity to learn, and grow - instead of seeing it as something I can’t do.  I hope they know how deeply and profoundly they impact so many lives across this earth. Even though we’re complete strangers - my life has changed forever, for the better, because of them. Daily, they inspire me.  I fell in love with life, and with myself again. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel happy again. Like I've come home in my own skin again. Even in the sadness, even in the exhaustion. There’s beauty and inspiration in it all. I’m grateful every waking second of every day that I’m still here; and still have so much to learn. I still have my off days, of course - but I’m thankful to even have those too.  My sister was home from college for the weekend and we celebrated early last night. I cried. I never knew how much it meant to me until that moment - hearing my family sing the birthday song to me; making my silly wishes. It’s something I appreciated, but never thought much of. Had anything gone differently, it wouldn’t have been a day where they had smiles on their faces.  I hope from the bottom of my heart they know how much I, and so many of us, appreciate them.  Thank you for helping me make it to my next birthday.  xoxo  #YUNHO #HONGJOONG #SEONGHWA #MINGI #SAN #YEOSANG #JONGO #WOOYOUNG  #Wooyoung  #Mingi  #Hongjoong #Yunho #Seonghwa #San #Wooyoung #Jongho #Yeosang #mingi #hongjoong #yunho #yeosang #san #seonghwa #wooyoung #jongho #김홍중 #박성화 #정윤호 #강여상 #최산 #송민기 #정우영 #최종호  #우영 #민기 #산 #여상 #홍중 #성화 #윤호 #종호 #Atiny #ATINY #atiny