to ateez: it's early morning here. i've finally recovered from the recent hot weather enough to try to put my thoughts to words. there have been two predominate emotions swirling within me recently; with the billboard achievements, it's stirred them up further. the first is a loving pride. to know that reaching such goals is so meaningful to all of you and the joy that it brings you. the path you've all walked for such a long time bearing the fruits of all of your work. you've flown through so many storms and come out the other side forever changed; the joys and celebrations tempered by the silent markings carried within the soul. and always at each step of accomplishment, humble words and gratitude. acknowledgement that it is through shared efforts and support that you could reach each milestone. your hearts remain kind and honourable, where fame can so often lead astray. yet now i come to the second emotion. i don't know if there is word for it exactly; it hangs along the edges, ever present, even in that golden radiance of joy. it feels to me like a kind of grief, though that still isn't its name. that you have to push so far, stretching limits, carrying a greater measure of weight and pressure. and every time you receive what is rightfully yours by character, will, and dedication, you commit to working harder still. the double-edge of attainment the necessitation of proof of worthiness. as if everything you had already done wasn't proof enough alone. you tell us that you'll show in further efforts that you're worthy of the love you're given, and on one hand i recognize humility. but on the other, i wonder just how deeply you believe it true; that you are even now not worthy. that the "sin" of being too human with the fluidity of imperfection is a kind of proof in itself of not measuring up. it kindles its own kind of anger, a fierce protectiveness. that the laws of society make it so to begin with; that with a single word out of place, a misstep, one moment too tired or out of focus, it could be the flint sparking fire. a turning of tides that sweeps all away. that it could then be seen as proof of failure, of being undeserving of love, a kind word, a gentle touch. as if anyone can measure the worth of a soul. as if living as oneself, kind and compassionate and warm with light, is not already enough reason to be loved. you always tell us not to worry, to just enjoy what you create. and a part of me wants to; to simply watch and appreciate. but i have never been someone like that. i cannot turn away and close my eyes to everything that the soul bears in weight. it is not in my nature to be content at what settles calmly at the surface. each soul is a unique palette, and my heart seeks for that knowledge. what kindles light or draws in the shadows; what world is seen in one pair of eyes that will never be seen exactly the same by another. what words are written plainly and which ones are penned in the margins; a deeper story only its bearer can fully read. what is the song of one's joy, of pain; what melody plays at the soul's beginning, so quiet it takes more than silence to catch the notes. to truly know someone; the calm and the chaos, the neat lines and the colours that flow beyond edges. the order and the messiness. the vulnerability and the relief of the shared burden of knowledge in all that is imperfect humanity. yet i can't directly ask you, nor can i offer a patiently listening ear. i can't sit quietly beside you, to give the release of validation by just being present when you're facing your toughest days. so i write. weighing the balance of tired eyes, backs faintly bending, with whether to speak on it or to divert to something brighter, something calming for a moment. not knowing fully if it's the correct timing or the right wording. only the soft soul's echoing back. i hope each day that even a little light can be the difference. and wish even more dearly that your happiness remains pure and true; not another weight carried, but a freeing of chains. i think of the nature of artistry itself; how it should be freedom of the soul, not another confinement. and i wish again that no matter the surrounding limitations, what you breathe from that innermost light holds its truest form as wings. though i am one person, one soul, with my own thoughts and feelings, i wish to be someone who brings balance. who not only uplifts your flight, but also reassures of the guiltless necessity of gentle landings. shares in the joy of new horizons while bringing a comforting knowing that the resting on shores is as precious as the voyage itself. to be one little star, anchored and constant, that will always watch over in loving kindness. so to wrap up, as it has grown later in the hours writing, cherish these moments. embrace the light and the warmth and the love that surrounds you. cherish yourselves, imperfect and growing wild and free as your kindred in nature. acknowledge what needs to be mended and find further growth, but don't overlook what is already there; has already been found. i wish once more in this moment that i could share my sight with you; to see the colours and lights that i see. the beauty in your imperfections. the wonder in existing as a soul like no other that has ever been and will ever be. i wish i could tell you, face to face, heart to heart, that i see you in your array of facets and you are all the more remarkable. not held onto a pedestal, but as equals in shared humanity. take care well, of precious body, heart, mind and soul. whatever your day carries to you, may the universe bring to you all that you need. i send you all of my own love and light; healing and protecting energy. wishing for every kindness to bloom in your way. congratulations and congratulations again. i am so very proud of you, each and all, and love you so much. from first light and into eternity. 💚🎶🐦☀️🌕🌟✨️🍀☘️🌻🫂🍵 -ari #ateez #에이티즈 #hongjoong #홍중 #seonghwa #성화 #yunho #윤호 #yeosang #여상 #san #산 #mingi #민기 #wooyoung #우영 #jongho #종호 #larknotes