I'm sad that I probably will not get a good place just because I have to take care of my body and mental health (which is little) I feel frustrated and guilty that I'm not trying so hard as a fan, like just making it this far I should be proud and it still seems not enough TT a lot is because it depends on factors like the organization that I can't control and it should be better honestly, even more when I understand about the subjecty but I'm not the one doing it so it's beyond me😅 guys you know what a mental mess I am but sorry and thank you. there are a lot of people nervous and rooting for me too and I'm grateful. and anxious people like me, I know I'm not alone. 99% percent of things are uncontrollable, volatile and chaotic and we only delude ourselves into thinking we have control over them. let it be. #atinytmi #atinylog #atinystruggle