late night post, my first in a while. while i'll still need time to continue processing everything from yesterday (a lot more happened than anticipated), the moment midnight opened up this new day, i felt a deep sense of peace wash over me. i think it's the realization fully hitting me that no matter how kind, how respectful, how careful i am in navigating what matters most to me around who i live with, yesterday was proof that i'll never be seen or accepted as who i really am. and i knew this. i've known it for years. but to have it reinforced so strongly left me more shaken than i'd thought i could be. maybe it's because the optimist in me, the parts that try to see the best in people, hoped that with time, with love, i could be a positive influence in some way. that there was still hope that i could find love and peace with them no matter what happened in the past. but people have to want to change. you can't force it, and it's not your responsibility to make yourself smaller for anyone. i realized that as much as open communication and sharing sincerely is deeply important to me, there are times when strict boundaries are crucial. i'm not a bad person for keeping myself safe. the realization of this became its own kind of strength. even when there are individuals who don't see you as yourself, love you or accept you as yourself, there are people who do. the best one can do is to stay steady in not losing yourself and the beautiful things in your heart. the right people find you and you find them; when you find those people, keep them close. cherish them. for now, i know my heart's calling. so i will continue forward, day by day, with love and with light. do the best i can and be the best i can be. for myself, for those i love, and with hope for a kinder future. to anyone facing hardship, doubts, insecurities, pain: keep going and keep growing. little by little. it's ok if progress is slow. it's not a failure if you stumble or reach points on the journey where you're too tired to take one more step. rest. take care of yourself. even if the people around you don't believe in you, believe in yourself. that weary and shaking heart is trying so hard; you deserve the chance to be really and truly happy. for anyone reading this, i hope your days are threaded with kindness, empathy, compassion, and love. i hope you either have or you find the ones who lift you up, who make you shine brighter. and to everyone who has given me love, shown me kindness, brought a smile and warm light with actions and words: thank you, with all of my heart. take care, with love. -ari ❤️‍🩹🍀 #ateez #에이티즈 #hongjoong #홍중 #seonghwa #성화 #yunho #윤호 #yeosang #여상 #san #산 #mingi #민기 #wooyoung #우영 #jongho #종호 #atiny #larknotes