You know I was thinking about what MINGI said.
Being the oldest daughter, the first grandchild, and also having to be extremely self-sufficient. My entire life really has me trying to break free of trying to do everything by myself. When I moved to the city five years ago by myself, I learned so much, and I got much wiser, but unfortunately, it only made it worse. There have been times when some of my family has helped me, but most of the time, if I want something, I have to truly do it myself and the people that, do express that they care for me to help because they haven't been in my shoes nor have they walked a similar path, so the advice as much as I appreciate it can be shallow or they say they don't know, which I don't hold anything against them for that.
It has really clouded my ideas about love and care from people and honestly has given me really bad trust issues. I don't really trust many people. Loving and caring for someone is very easy for me but being loved is a hard concept for me. I will happily put myself in harms way for people I care for, but I don't expect anyone to do it for me. My expectations for people no matter the words they say are actually very low because of this.
I have a strong team of people in a strong community around me now that I hold down and they try to help me. It's hard to accept help when the only thing that you've known your entire life is to be independent. In terms of my career, the team is actively growing on the freelance and business side of everything that I'm doing, and I'm grateful for the person that has been doing this for over a decade, understands my vision and put so much trust in me because he believes in me.
I am getting better, but I just want to voice that those words really do mean a lot to me even if I'm not directly doing production at the moment as much as I would like, it applies to the business side of music as well. THANK YOU
#MINGI #민기
Goodnight everyone.